Rosemary and Joshua Woods were Botanists. They had three boys: Jujuba, Judah, John. I was with my mother one evening after Sunday night mass. Jen was there. She insisted her name wasn’t Juniper. But it was Juniper, like the tree. When we went to church, I could almost hear my mom praying for god to make it better down here. She would pray to Mary and all the saints for our sinning hearts. I hope he got her letter. My brothers turned away from religion…off to college and the military to bring death with new diseases and guns. “You’re the images of God,” she would tell us. Jujuba goes by the name Joe. He found a way to reduce the price of beer in New Mexico. He has never needed to write a letter to god. He plays god making diseases and curing them. Father, Son and the Holy Ghost…help my family. They seem not to believe in you, God. The truth is that John maybe the most normal of us. Well, he’s a psychiatrist in Detroit. He and Joe broke mom’s heart when they told her they didn’t believe in God. Jen is coming I want to surprise her with my writing after a year. UNTITLED My Dad died several months ago. He was a pure man, real salt of the earth and the demons took him. Joshua Woods was seventy-two; the coroner’s report said he died in his sleep of natural causes. I know it was the demons. My mother cried for several days. I stayed in a sort of daze. They painted him to look as though he were alive. His veins and bowels were drained of matter and a plug inserted into the anus. Formaldehyde injected. His body placed gently into a mahogany casket. My mom was certain that dad and St Matthias were smiling upon the ceremony in Downey. The priest looked very ghoulish…I used to know all the priests by first name. Since I stopped attending mass I see them for what they really are: demons, minions of Satan Joe and John were social butterflies…they eulogized him and carried the casket. I couldn’t get close to it. It was the work of the devil. Being in the church was some sort of miracle. God works in mysterious ways, they say. The ceremony revolved around the resurrection…if only they knew what the resurrection was. Time stops when Jen is around… She is the miracle I need. I see the light of god in her eyes. I know it is not false; this is how we will defeat Satan. We will cast Satan out of this hell and we will create heaven on earth. Truth and Love will defeat the lies of Satan. Jen and my mom are coming and I’ve just started this journal. Mom and John think writing this journal will help me deal with my father’s death. I titled it untitled thinking I could add a title later. It just dawned on me that the title “Untitled” is still a title. I just got into this religion called Gnosticism. One of the tenants is that through sex I become enlightened like Jesus. I plan to put the light of god into Jen tonight. This whole thing is just a passing point in my catharsis since dad died. John prescribed me some meds today. He thinks that I’m depressed and my thoughts are telling of Schizophrenia. I think he’s the one who’s crazy. I know that I’m not god. I am just the eyes of god. People are how God experiences the universe. My brothers are staying in town for a couple of weeks. John convinced Joe to come visit. Apparently, he needs special military clearance to come visit since the accident in New Mexico. His girlfriend is very beautiful. Scientists, they work on viruses for the military. I’m not telling John another single thought out of my head. Jen is coming down the hall. She’s singing it means she wants sex. John loves Barbeque. He lives in Houston, now, before it was Detroit. I liked it better when he was in Detroit. He was far enough away that he did not meddle in the family affairs. Today we are going to grill some pork chops and burgers. Joe has always had the greatest green eyes but today in the light of the barbeque, the shone like emeralds. Joe recently met with the President. Joe Says ol’ Bill is quite the diplomat and host. Victoire, I think she’s French or something but it may be hard not to cry out her name in mid-coitus. It is such a beautiful name and her voice like an angel. I should delete this before Jen reads what I think of my brother’s girlfriend. I caught my brothers in mid-sentence talking about a new virus. Joe seemed very excited and squeezed Victoire’s hand a little too hard. I saw a skin irritation on Joe’s wrist. Mom pays no attention to what I say; neither does any of my family. Check out http://www.dave-estrada.com