Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: He didn't wear show clothes at all, He didn't dance, he didn't sing, His doin's wasn't what I call A public show at all, by jing; He hadn't one dissolvin' view, He didn't on the tight rope walk— I swear to gosh he didn't do A 'tarnal thing but grin an' talk. A SERMON TO MYSELF (OR TO YOU IF IT FITS) Don't be blue—just be true To yourself and smile. Don't you know the clouds will go In a little while? Have some grit—up an' git! What's the recompense— Fret and stew! keepin' blue, Lackin' common sense? Take it cool. Whoa, you mule, Kickin' like a steer! Half your trouble's but a bubble: What you got to fear? Friends are honey when you've money, Otherwise they're few. Then, dod rot it, PLAY YOU'VE GOT IT— And you'll git it, too. DOES IT PAY? It's easy enough to be funny, It's easy enough to be glad, When the larder is flowing with honey And the body in comfort is clad; And it's easy enough to be frisky, To frolic and laugh and be gay While you drink to your sweetheart in whisky, But tell me, my boy, does it pay ? It's easy enough to be jolly When out for a lark with the boys, And away from dear mother and Molly, Who'd share all your sorrows and joys. And it's easy enough to deceive them— Their sweet, loving hearts to betray; But it's selfish and brutal to grieve them— And tell me, my boy, does it pay? But it's easier far to be truthful, Straightforward in all that you do. Keep your heart and your soul always youthful, To mother and sweetheart be true. And, boys, let me give you a motto, To keep in your heart every day— Though you drive a wheelbarrow or auto Whatever you do, make it pay. THE REPORTER Don't turn him down—don't scare and fret, But greet him with a shake an...