Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: m A. PLAYHOUSE EPISODE: THE SEX INSTINCT MK. PETEE SQUEM had been thoroughly barbered—shaved, massaged, shampooed and anointed with "Roses of Avalon." Also he had had "tonic." Then he had donned his evening clothes—correct in every detail, according to the House of Fashion stylebook—and in a state of extreme fragrance had made his way to a parquet chair costing three dollars at the Lyric Theatre. Wagner opera it was to be. Mr. Squem knew little of this, but he understood it was "classy," and he knew that three dollars meant that one must "come along with the clothes." He did not achieve rapport with the music, and was unable to differentiate much of it from the preliminary tuning of the instruments. During one of the most impressive numbers, his thoughts were upon the liquid secretions and frequent emptyings of a large horn. "Regular old geyser," he thought. When the first part ended—it seemed quite long—he turned to a gentleman in the chair next his and remarked : "I guess you have to learn how in this kind of business, the same as you do with caviare." "Well, yes," was the answer, "learn or pretend you have. It doesn't appeal to you?" "It hasn't got my post-office address yet," said Mr. Squem. "Think a correspondence-school would help?" "Doubtful," replied the other, '' though some one was talking the other day about lion-taming by correspondence. It's 'the music of the future,' you see—that's what they call it —that you are hearing to-night, and that's what has brought, seventy per cent of these people here. They don't really hear any more music than you do, and it almost bores them to death— there's considerable suffering around us; but to be among the early arrivals in the future, you know—something a little more than up to date" "You mean they don't c...